Shout out to Influenster for my first vox box!!

I joined Influenster sometime last month and look what I got in the mail!! I was hella hype. Maybelline fit me original has been one of my favorite for YEARS now!! I used to use it more when I was super oily and now that my skin is fairly dry I was so excited to dry the dewy version. This foundation lasted me all day without looking to cakey and using the hydrating primer underneath really made my skin look flawless. Thanks so much maybelline for the complimentary products!



Come Over When You’re Sober I don’t want to go too much into this because I plan on writing a separate thing for gus gus but, this was my favorite album this year. Yes I’m being a little biased because my heart still breaks for peep but he was going to change music forever. No one could ever put a label on him because he never had one, like the words from his mom, “he was the first and last and only, lil peep.

After Laughter The day my boyfriend moved to arizona was the first time I listened to this album, and I listened to it all day, and now it just reminds me of my favorite day. This album so so perfect to me, a lot of people are mad that Paramore sounds like a radio band now but I really don’t care. I love this album becasuse it is so fucking catchy but so fucking sad which is exactly what I need. Listening to the album it makes you feel like summer, and road trips, but then you really listen to it and you realize you wanna kill yourself again. Hayley williams feels like my big sister standing up for me when no one else would, and I’m so happy this album exists.

Pop 2 I know it’s not really fair to put an album I listened to literally just yesterday, but I cannot explain how god damn good this album is. The fact that I’ve never really paid attention to Charli xcx before is gonna bother me until the day I die. Everyone knows I love Carly Rae because she is essentially 80’s dance music and I’m gonna feel fake saying it, but pop 2 is better than E MO TION. Charli xcx is like Britney Spears in the 80’s on ecstasy. Yesterday I spent 7+ hours stoned listening to all of her music and it’s honestly a religious experience.

Melodrama The first time I heard Liability me and my bpd self have never felt so validated in our lives. Melodrama says a lot of the things I need to say when it comes to explaining my mental health all while making me want to dance and I really love Lorde for that.

DAMN. Damn.

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CTRL. SZA is the lana del rey that us black girls have been waiting for. My favorite things about SZA’s music is it has straight cis men so pressed about women talking about men in songs the way men have been talking about us but honestly stay mad. CTRL is the best thing to listen to when you’re feeling less than and makes you remember you’re a hot angel and men are trash.

Here’s a list of my honorable mentions which is really just a list of albums I was too lazy to write about
-You’re not as __ as you think you are, Sorority Noise
-Saturation 3, Brockhampton
-Tell me you love me, Demi Lovato
-Reputation, Taylor Swift (don’t judge, such a good album)
-More life, Drake
-Luv is Rage 2, Lil Uzi

Why do cis men hate Astrology so much?


“Astrology is not real and you will never convince me that it is” said the taurus rolling his eyes. Why are cis men so afraid of admitting, or even being open to the idea that astrology is a real thing? Men expect so much of women. We need to be interested in every hobby they are, watch sports with them, watch them play video games, so how come even asking a man what his sign is freaks them out? My theory is that secretly deep down, they know they can’t deny the coincidences when it’s shoved in your face, and they don’t want any woman to think she actually knows them. It honestly really bothers me how rude about it they are? It’s like we get it your moon is in Virgo but please stop being a dick. I asked my twitter followers what is the most ridiculous thing a man has ever told them when it comes to astrology and every day men just keep disappointing me. “How can you believe in Astrology but not believe in god” (@scoutshon0r) It’s like….the placement of the sun and planets is way more believable than just some random man up there being totally okay with our world falling apart. “Astrology won’t change how ugly or stupid you are” (@strawbabyyyyy) at this point you just gotta wonder who raised these dudes. It blows my mind because some people can’t even think about astrology past people’s sun sign, which is like not that important. There is so much to Astrology and so many people I know have devoted so much time into learning about the universe and for some nasty greasy cis man to make fun of you for it is just fu*king ridiculous.


I never post makeup looks anymore, 1, because my front camera has been broken for so long so all my selfies are blurry, and two I’m lazy and depressed. My 12 year old brother dragged me the other day when he saw my makeup and went “oh I see you did another pink look” yes, yes I did.

Brows- ABH dipbrow in ebony

Eyes- wet n wild photo focus concealer to prime my eyes, the urban decay electric palette in shade savage for the pink, modern renaissance palette in shade primavera for the center of my lid, and the KVD tattoo liner in trooper

face: I mixed the fenty foundation with my wet n wild foundation and it’s the perfect mix. I use the wet n wild concealer to highlight my under eyes and use the Maybelline fit me setting powder to set my concealer and my whole face. I contour with the hoola bronzer, use my elf blush palette for my blush, and trophy wife for my highlight

lips: on my lips I’m wearing wet n wild’s matte lipstick in the shade “bare nude” (amazing quality lipsticks for $2)




My holy grails!!!!!

I decided to make a lil post dedicated to all my fav products. I know some of these y’all have probably seen everywhere but oh well. I don’t really purchase makeup as much as I want to anymore, and if I do it’s because I use my boyfriends PayPal and say it was an accident. These are the products that no matter what kind of look I do I’m always coming back to these guys xoxo

The modern Renaissance palette this is by all means one of my favorite palettes. I know ABH got a lot of sh*t thrown at them when the subculture palette came out (which I think was over dramatic imo) but this palette is so creamy and blend like butter. There’s such a good mix between matte and shimmer shades and a few good transitioning shades. I’ve done so many looks just using those shades and nothing else. If you’re still shaky on doing your cut crease this is the best palette to practice with.

Wet n wild photo focus concealer this concealer is amazing!!!! It kinda reminds me of the urban decay naked skin concealer but 1) less money and 2) creases way less. The coverage is really full without being too cakey and doesn’t set into your lines. Plus wet n wild is vegan and cruelty free!!


Fenty beauty pro filt’r foundation I know there’s about a million other reviews out there about this foundation but this foundation is god damn beautiful especially for people of color. I have really textured dry to normal skin and this is one of the only foundations that doesn’t emphasize all of my texture problems. You literally just fucking glow and you don’t need to set it with a powder if you don’t want to.

Maybelline Fit Me Loose Setting Powder THIS IS THE BEST SETTING POWDER EVER. Fuck Laura moosey a fuck Becca fuck any other powder besides this one. It is so finely milled and sits on your skin so nicely. It doesn’t cake it doesn’t make your eyes dry. I can’t get over how amazing this powder is, it also has a really decent shade range and it’s drug store !!!

Hoola bronzing powder this honestly might be one of my original holy grails. I don’t really like benefits cosmetics or anything they do lmao their packaging is annoyingly cute for shit that doesn’t work but this powder is a+ I’m really yellow so any time I try to contour with an actual contour shade it ends up looking gray and muddy. I know you’re not supposed to contour with a bronzer but fuck it.

Milk Makeup Holographic stick Highlight In my opinion cream highlights are always better than powder ones. If you blend it in with your finger I think it looks really natural and beautiful. If you want an extra glow you can always top it with your favorite powder highlight.

Will this bi*ch ever be quiet

     In case you aren’t already sick of me, in a state of mania I decided to make a blog. I’ve wanted to make a YouTube channel for about 3 years now focusing on makeup and also mental health, but I am way too anxious to be in front of the camera like that. I just want a place to be able to talk about BPD, beauty products, music, movies, tea, fashion, etc etc.

    I personally think there’s a huge disconnect between mental health and the beauty industry. I know that may sound a little ridiculous, but no one talks about how I can’t even get out of bed let alone do my makeup, or how I’m so manic I will use 16 skincare products in ten minutes. No one talks about the fact that it’s hard to be in the beauty world while having low self esteem and constantly seeing perfect photoshopped warm eye looks (eye roll). I will get so inspired and so manic and want to do so many looks then in a split second I will convince myself I’m not good enough and feel awful about myself. When you’re mentally ill sometimes showering is a lot to do let alone beating your face.

     I just want a safe place to talk about these things and hope at least one person can relate. If you’re a neurotypical reading this you might find some of my beauty tips useful but also might learn how to communicate to your friends with personality disorders better, who knows. I’m going to try and update this regularly but any kind of commitment makes me want to cry so we’ll see.